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Recovery from abusive relationships

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Critical thinking

At a recent writing workshop, a visiting professor told the group she was as good as any lawyer at verbally backing someone into a corner. She admitted that she often stifled her critical thinking skills because it made others feel bad. To loud applause she concluded, We need less critical thinking and more creative thinking! … Continue reading Critical thinking →

powerfulbeautifulwise Uncategorized Leave a comment May 24, 2018May 24, 2018

From fear to contentment

I woodenly scanned the words on the page. When I told the counselor that I felt numb after recently leaving a brutal abuser, she gave me a handout listing an array of possible feelings. The only familiar word was fear; fear at the abuser finding and killing me or my family. Her handout reassured me, … Continue reading From fear to contentment →

powerfulbeautifulwise abuse, recovery from abuse Leave a comment May 19, 2018

Speaking ill of the dead

We’re conditioned to speak well of the dead. When a California university professor criticized a former first lady upon her death, an outraged nation struck back. Exceptions to the rule are allowed for dictators, drug-addled rock stars, or exploitive mothers – people so obviously broken, their dysfunction becomes their legacy. But for the most part, … Continue reading Speaking ill of the dead →

powerfulbeautifulwise Uncategorized 2 Comments May 12, 2018

Lessons from longing

Longing is a unique feeling. For me it includes aching in my stomach, tingling in my upper sinuses, a catch in my heart, and high shallow breathing. Longing shows up in grief after loss, homesickness, and regret. I grieved after the abuser killed himself. Despite his brutal abuse, I still longed for the person I … Continue reading Lessons from longing →

powerfulbeautifulwise Uncategorized Leave a comment May 4, 2018

Control by suicide

Imagine that your neighbor built a section of fence from wooden posts and boards. At first the fence stands solid and straight, but after a couple of years, it begins to lean. You discover a secret; the posts weren’t sunk deep enough, so with each windstorm, the boards become sails and intensify the lean. A … Continue reading Control by suicide →

powerfulbeautifulwise abuse, control, suicidal abusers Leave a comment April 29, 2018

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