I woodenly scanned the words on the page. When I told the counselor that I felt numb after recently leaving a brutal abuser, she gave me a handout listing an array of possible feelings. The only familiar word was fear; fear at the abuser finding and killing me or my family. Her handout reassured me, … Continue reading From fear to contentment
Category: recovery from abuse
The Baby and the Sword
Have you ever felt maternal toward your abuser? Have you ever felt the need to save your abuser? I’ll plead guilty to both. To successfully leave the abuser, I had to lay down the baby and the sword. During one of my attempts to escape from abuse, I consulted a counselor who compared an abuser … Continue reading The Baby and the Sword
The Fight for Happiness
When we’re trapped in an abusive relationship, none of our choices seem to lead to happiness. If we dare to escape from the abuser, life feels foreign and not at all happy like we’d hoped. We decide that the devil we knew was not as bad as this new-found hell, so we return to the … Continue reading The Fight for Happiness
Busy Brain
Soon after leaving the abuser I acquired a bad case of busy brain - my term for racing or spinning thoughts that I can’t seem to stop. While still in the abusive relationship, my mind was relatively quiet, almost numb. I’m sure sleep deprivation contributed to the numbness. He conned me into completing time-consuming tasks … Continue reading Busy Brain
Resilience – we had it all along
I know that targets of abuse abound with resilience because it’s required in all relationships with abusers. To maintain some control over the abuser’s seemingly erratic behavior, we walked on eggshells. We went to extraordinary measures to accommodate the abuser’s preferences while neglecting our own comfort and preferences. After being raged at or subjected to … Continue reading Resilience – we had it all along