Within the last ten years, the news covered several stories about young girls kidnapped and held in horrific physical captivity who eventually escaped. We heard about Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Dugard, Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Gina DeJesus and their kidnappings and the ensuing ordeals of being imprisoned, chained, starved, raped, beaten, and isolated from the … Continue reading Captivity
Category: abuse
Mind Control
Some of us remember watching in disbelief when the young kidnapped heiress, Patty Hearst, later joined her kidnappers in threatening hostages during a bank robbery. A bank robbery in Switzerland introduced Stockholm’s Syndrome into everyday conversation. We named it mind control or brain washing and assumed we’re immune because we are opinionated. But, that’s not … Continue reading Mind Control
The Fight for Happiness
When we’re trapped in an abusive relationship, none of our choices seem to lead to happiness. If we dare to escape from the abuser, life feels foreign and not at all happy like we’d hoped. We decide that the devil we knew was not as bad as this new-found hell, so we return to the … Continue reading The Fight for Happiness
Control
When we say we were abused while in a controlling relationship, we sure had that right. What we might have missed is that we were doing our own share of controlling. What? Did I read that right? Yes, I’ve learned that I can be a controlling person, even though I was brutally abused by a … Continue reading Control
Busy Brain
Soon after leaving the abuser I acquired a bad case of busy brain - my term for racing or spinning thoughts that I can’t seem to stop. While still in the abusive relationship, my mind was relatively quiet, almost numb. I’m sure sleep deprivation contributed to the numbness. He conned me into completing time-consuming tasks … Continue reading Busy Brain
Resilience – we had it all along
I know that targets of abuse abound with resilience because it’s required in all relationships with abusers. To maintain some control over the abuser’s seemingly erratic behavior, we walked on eggshells. We went to extraordinary measures to accommodate the abuser’s preferences while neglecting our own comfort and preferences. After being raged at or subjected to … Continue reading Resilience – we had it all along
Leaving an Abuser
Here’s a thought experiment for someone thinking about leaving an abusive relationship. Imagine that some anonymous benefactor offered you $10 million to leave your abuser. The only term for this gift was that you’d agree to never see or communicate with the abuser again. Imagine being able to pay off debts, hire legal representatives, secure … Continue reading Leaving an Abuser
