When Old Trauma Returns

The following interview is with a friend named Anne. She is facing the re-emergence of an old trauma in her life. She survived an abusive relationship with unusual strength, helping prosecutors hold her abuser accountable for his crimes against her, resulting in his prison term. The corrections system is now considering releasing him early for good behavior. Anne’s security … Continue reading When Old Trauma Returns →

Why don’t we leave?

I participated in an abuse survivor's forum last night. I shared my perspective on why targets of abuse find it so difficult to leave their abusers. Here are my notes from last night. Hello. I survived a 30-year marriage to a brutal abuser. In the six years since leaving that relationship, I’ve learned a … Continue reading Why don’t we leave? →

Innocence

To recover from an abusive relationship, I had to release my innocence. What might sound like releasing white doves to the wild has turned out to be like scraping and rinsing owl droppings from the concrete walk below our barn peak – stubborn icky stuff. While the process has been unpleasant, it’s turning out well. … Continue reading Innocence →

Are we grooming our youth to be abused?

Is our culture grooming our young people to be abused? I’d like to believe not, but a sinking feeling tells me we are. The internet hadn’t been invented when as an impressionable teenager I was lured into a relationship with an older man. He isolated me from friends and family and brutally abused me in … Continue reading Are we grooming our youth to be abused? →

Meandering to recovery

Recovery is often defined as a path, like Dorothy and her friends seeking the Wizard of Oz along the yellow brick road. My recovery from an abusive relationship felt less like a path, and more like a meander through dense woods. No consistent signs, pavement, or guides defined the way. Sometimes a vantage point let … Continue reading Meandering to recovery →